I think my quote fits perfectly with what happened yesterday. My CT and a few others at the school went to a conference, as I told the students to become an even greater teacher, this left me with a substitute. I had two options one to let the sub do most of the stuff I haven't yet done in the class and would be taking over on Monday, or I could take over the whole room a day early and with out my CT in the room. I decided to give myself a greater challenge and take over for the day. This was such a great feeling knowing that I was in control and I didn't have that "security blanket." The sub was there, but I didn't have the CT there to ask 'what would you do? or how should I." I had to make those split second decisions and maintain the classroom control. In some ways I felt like a sub. The students where not yet used to me taking over everything and decided to see how much they could get away with. Two students where told specifically to stay at their desks after they were done with their math tests. (Normally during free reading time students are allowed to sit anywhere in the room they'd like to. Well, one student thought it would be a good idea to lay next to his desk with his feet at the chair, then another student followed suit. I guess thy were still "at their seats" but this shows they were really seeing what they could get away with. The students were a lot more chatty than usual part because it was Friday and a lot of it is because I'm not the 'teacher.' My CT is also a lot taller than me as well as a guy. I think both of these factors are a little more intimidating than a 5'2" female. Women are also looked at as being more "motherly."
I ran into a bit of a complication with Spelling. We normally take our tests in the computer lap at spellingcity.com (awesome site!) Well once we were there I told the students which lists they were on and dismissed them, we found the lists where not showing on the site. I thought maybe it was just the one group that didn't have a list, but the students soon let me know that non of their lists where showing up. I decided to let them play a quick spelling game from last weeks words since we had the computer lab already reserved. After that I had the students head back to the room and we worked on our "thank you" letters to the student ambassadors from U of I for visiting our classes a few weeks ago.
One thing I did that I was proud of was I had them re-do different things during the day. When they go from the carpet to their desks they have certain expectations, and when they go from the desks to the carpet other expectations. These where not showing. Once when they where coming to the carpet it took them a lot longer than it should have, and was a noisier they it should have been. So once everyone came to the carpet, I had them all go back to their seats and we talked about what it should look like and sound like. Then we did it again. I did the same thing later for when they went from the carpet to their seats. Once they got back to their seats the noise level increased and it seemed a little chaotic. So I had them come back and talked about what had happened and re-stated the expectations. I wanted to show them that I didn't think it was o.k. to stop doing their personal best when the c.t. wasn't around and that I still expected them to.
Over all they day had a few frustrations and looking back there are things I would have done differently or said differently for directions. (But isn't this the way every new teacher sees it?) We got through everything (except for the spelling test) that we where supposed to. I feel more confident about myself as a teacher after this experience. I was forced to take on a role that I chose alone. My original challenge was to teach the class and the greater challenge was to teach a class without that "security blanket." Not only did I conquer the original challenge, but I learned a lot about myself and gained more confidence from that.
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